To See You Off

Thinking about the last time we met.
You left in such a hurry.

The cab driver took a wrong turn, which made you late for the flight. You were quite mad at him and you started giving him directions in your deep voice that became deeper since you were angry. Finally, when we reached you rushed towards the gate and I don’t quite remember if we hugged. I looked at you but did not see you reflect back. So I let go of you. And smiled, my heart pounding, eyes slowly welling up. And then, you turned away and started walking. I stood there thinking..

Maybe this is the last time
Or maybe I will receive you here again
Hey! Turn back, smile and wave
What’s the rush?
Don’t you miss me already?

And then you disappeared. I stood there a little longer trying to catch a glimpse of you. But I couldn’t see you anymore so I walked towards the bus station and took a bus. My heart felt empty. I felt angry and a little disappointed.

Why wouldn’t you want to spend some more time with me?
4 out of 365 days is good enough for you?
Not for me
Not for me.

A major red flag. That day was probably the day when I truly felt sad, unloved, and trivial. We were so many time zones apart and you should have taken me to a trip or stayed with me for a few more days. That would have meant a lot. But the queen of your heart commanded you to come back home and you had to obey the command. That day I got a glimpse of my future, but I did not want to see it then.

I don’t know what I feel now
Love or hate or both
But that was indeed the last time I ever saw you
Wish you had taken your leave more amicably
A hug, a quick peck, turn back, smile and wave
Because nothing is certain.

Look where we are now.
Time zones apart
Living different lives
And probably I want it to stay that way
Because if I am not the queen of your heart
I don’t want anything.

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