I am so disgusted with them that unless I vent out my bottled up anger, I won’t be at peace.
I am an idiot for enduring this for more than a year now.
A very naive scientist once wanted to publish his research work in one of the scientific journals.He e-mailed one of “the them”:
“It would be a pleasure to get my article published in your invaluable journal”, he wrote.
“Hey look what this guy has written”, she said to me.
I read, smiled and said, “congratulations!”
“Ahh…can’t you see, he has written invaluable journal and yet he wants to submit his article!”
This situation repeated itself twice and both the times “the them” was a manager.
I am so angry at myself for not leaving this job much earlier that I feel like picking up the TV and thrashing it on the floor.I am so in destruction mode right now (reminds me of goddess Kali) that I can destroy everything in my apartment. Putting up a smiling face and talking to “the them” even when I don’t want to, but I have to, makes it even worse. Slightest of interaction with “the them” makes it clear that this is not my place. This is not where I am supposed to be. This is not what I deserve. I deserve much better.
I really want to backlash out at “the them” one day, but I realize, that would be too childish, too immature, too predictable. I am not predictable. I won’t let them predict my actions.
God! I just need the strength of few more days to bear with “the them”.
Its a wonder how you plan your future in a certain way and then you land yourself in an alien place, surrounded with aliens (while the aliens also think of you as an alien!) and interact with each other in language unknown. You look at their ugly faces, as they look at your ugly face, listen to their jokes and wonder which part exactly was the funny part, listen to an alien “fashionista” criticize your sense of style (how dare “the them”) and on top of it “the them” take it for granted that you are a “fool alien” and you do not understand their cruel intentions.
I am done with this.
I will work so hard this year that I will remove “the them” off my life.
They can go kiss each other’s asses.