Dark and Clear

I know you are ok.

Good to know that you

Are doing great.

I am not

But that’s ok too.

I will find my space someday

To forgive and forget

Just not yet.

No, you don’t bother me much

These days I don’t think about us

But in the darkness of my room

When I have nothing to hide

A slight heartache lights up the

Room. Faint and weak.

And I can see everything clearly.

Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

What’s the point now.

Glad you moved on.

We all must.

Just in our own time.

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Good, You’re Gone

Good that you’re gone

Saw her with your sweater

No, it’s not okay

Who knew you’d turn out to be a cheater

Good that you are gone

Love blinded me

I was giving up on my career

How could I not see?!

No, I won’t say

It doesn’t hurt anymore

But I feel better

Than I was before

You opened a wound

That was yet to heal

And stabbed me on my back

Why one? Two is the deal.

I bled

Till I felt

I can’t take this anymore

I still bleed

Only for the better, ‘m sure

Good that you’re gone

Have group fun

You, Again

I keep going to the same place

That I went with you

In this city, when I was new

The place we first met

The mall we went

The things we discussed

The games we played

The food we ate

We could have been

What we are not today

I went to the same gaming zone

We went last time you came

And I saw you and me

So happy

But, were we?

Every good memory I have

Is now tainted

Mad words, deep cuts

In urgent need of healing

Will I ever? Will you ever?

If only you loved me

If only I loved myself

We could have been

What we are not…

Red Flag

I remember how you smiled and looked at me when “perfect” was playing in your car. I smiled too. I could feel my heart get heavy with love and contentment. But it’s all gone now. In a snap of a finger.

You do not love me anymore. It’s painful but I am slowly coming to terms with it. Some days I feel strong. Somedays I feel hollow and so much in darkness that I don’t really know how to stop feeling the pain of loss.

Every day I wake up and just remain like that. I function but do I really? I can see, I breathe, I eat, I walk, I smile, I hang out with friends, I talk to guys, I listen to songs, I dance.. but everything is just meaningless. Especially, talking to the guys. All I feel is, I wouldn’t be doing this if you were here. If only you were here…

But I cannot ignore the fact that I was also not happy. When I met you, I fell in love with the person you were. Suddenly, you were one of those who run behind money and not live the gift of life. I valued you because you valued me. But she came along and you started comparing me with her.

It’s wrong. Wrong on so many levels. You do not always have to sleep with people to cheat, to break someone’s heart. You can just sting with your distance, your words, and your lack of empathy.

You took me for granted. You treasure her more than me. You broke a bond. For her?

Didn’t you know about my insecurities? Didn’t I open up to you and only you so that you could understand me?

I was in love. It was a different kind of affair I had with you. I fall in love easily and get hurt easily. With you it was different. I otherwise do not tell things to people that are deep wounds that have not yet healed.

I dont hate you. But I feel disrespected. If you really loved me, you would have accepted me as I am. Like I did. Even if I disagreed with certain things you did, I was ready to go ahead and be with you.You said things to and yet i wanted you. Not because I would not get another person to get married to but because I wanted you.

I wish I had seen the signs and had given up on you long before. Because even though time says we were together 4 years, you said we would have stayed for 1 year if we were in the same place (geographically). I say, it would hav even just 1 month. Because that’s when I saw the first red flag.

Let It Be

I saw your profile

For one last time.

Saw what she wrote for you

As if you couldn’t decide.

You were so happy that day

You came back and said,

“She helped me fake it

Fake it to make it.”

The honest person I knew

Was slowly fading.

Your messages used to be on top

Now I am scrolling.

“She is so nice

She inspires me.

Look at you

You leave everything you start doing.”

You said, “She treats me like family.

If she wasn’t there

God knows what would have happened

You poisoned my life

You poisoned my life.”

The Sun I knew

Never eclipsed on me.

How could I poison your life

When you won’t even talk to me.

“How much should I care about others

What about me?”, you said

“What about the things I want to do?”

Well, we made plans

To travel and see the world

What happened to them?

Why do you not want to take me?

No, I don’t blame her

Your love was never pure,

Never selfless.

I was ready to give up a career I built

Live with you in your hometown.

And you couldn’t even take me

To the one place I wanted to see.

If she is so HOLY

If she is your savior

Then I let it be.

Because when I’d ask

You to get up

And arm yourself up for the future

You’d want to sleep.

So, if she is the reason you left me

I’ll let it be.

Make Her Feel Loved

Q- “What are you looking for?”

A- “My lost pearl necklace.

The one which had dreams and hopes

Strung together in sequence.”

Q- “Where did you lose it?”

A- “In dark abyss of time.

Rummaging through memories

That him and this city left behind.”

Q- “Why don’t you let it go?”

A- “I am trying.

But it’s like the an atomic explosion

It burns, it scars

It damages beyond repair.

But you still think about it years later.”

Q- “Can’t you replace it with a new one?”

A- “New hopes and dreams? Yes.

Though, without him, it meaningless.”

Q- “Girl, you’re living in 18th Century!”

A- “Maybe I am.

We all have our own path to healing.

It is not about getting another pearl necklace,

It’s about getting that smile back on my face.”

Q- “Didn’t he leave you in the sun to scorch?”

A- “Yes, he has.

Torched my world without thinking twice.

But I wish him good

I hope he finds happiness

In someone else

Who can love him more than I do

Whom he can love more than he loved me.

Stand by her come what may

Selflessly be hers

Give her the attention she deserves

Entangle her in his arms

And make her feel loved

More than anything else.”

Poison Ivy

She stares,

Looks at him

Like he is the most beautiful thing

She tries to avoid

But there he is in the corner

How do you get away from this

She wants him

But he is too busy

To look at her

He plays snooker

Volleyball, badminton

And loves snowboarding

She waits

A call, a message

A loving hug

But all she gets is cold shoulder

He calls her poison ivy

Sucking on his energy

A monster hungry for his life

She wouldn’t let him survive

What began as love

Is now smoke and dust

As if it was not real

Just a dream

A nightmare

A killer chasing him

Poison ivy I am

I draw life out

While all I wanted

Was to be loved.

First Step To Moving On

Tonight, it’s different

I feel a little more confident

No, I am not happy

But I am going to be

Remember the time when we

Walked the lanes

Hand in hand, going crazy, insane?

Remember when we

Talked about our exes

And looked into each other’s eyes

As if we were meant to be?

Remember the last movie

We saw together?

I hoarded the popcorn tub

Wrote the date and movie name

Thinking, someday I will

Share the story with the grandkids

Remember when

We bumped into each other

In the McD opposite your office

My heart raced

I was too distracted

To keep up the conversation

With my friend

Remember Goa?

We drove wherever our hearts flew

The fish we ate

The sun burn, the dance…

Remember that one time

When I snuggled

Under your armpit

And slept

While you hunted house online?

Ah, there are countless

Good memories of us

And tonight it’s not hurting

To remember those times we had

Is this what letting go feels like

Light, free

Is this what turning a new page

Feels like?

Fresh, unscathed

Tonight, I am putting aside the hurt

Remembering us

The good times we had

You might not feel the same anymore

But that’s not bothering me

Tonight is quite different

Because your going away

Was probably heaven-sent

Times Have Changed

In the same airport

In the same lobby but

This time, it’s different

I miss you

Because we were here

Once

We were here

Times have changed

The place remains the same

I can imagine you here

Walking toward me

With a smile on your face

But times have changed

And there’s nothing I can do

I have tried

To bring you back

I have taken care

Of the the things I ignored

“You need therapy”

Yes, I need therapy

I need therapy to get over you

Four years is not less

Opening up to you

Was not enough

Now I am not sure

If you changed

Or remained the same

Why couldn’t I see

Why couldn’t I recognize

That, that day when you walked in

This song

This poem

Was in my future to be written

But

Could I stop myself

That time?

I was smitten

So in love

With your gait

With your streaks of white hair

Full lips and

My favorite,

Perfect teeth

But times have changed

Place remains the same

It smells the same

Sounds the same

Only my heart feels empty

Dead wishes

Dead dreams

Times have changed.

Passive Aggressive

I am feeling restless. In my bed, alone. Checking my phone.
If I was addicted to this device
Why would the other notifications be so annoying?

But you seem to be busy
It will be a little difficult tonight
You said and I said that’s alright
We need some space too.

Just FYI, I finished work soon
So that we can hangout
Talk nonsense and laugh
And fight

Hey, you make me a little confused
Put me in doubt
So, I take one step back
And you take one step forward

Towards her.